Tuesday, December 9, 2014
It's 1.29 in the morning
Hey guys or rather whatsup future Ummairah. I'm currently an unsolved rubik's cube in a way that I'm a mess now. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have a horrible day when its results day. What am I gonna do with my life? I hope you have it all sorted out man cause I'm really in a state of lost-ness if that's a word. Btw, A levels is over. And I kinda feel like my life is too. I guess I'm just scared that people will comment on how I did and diss me and some may even give me looks of pity for God knows what reason and I hate that. I know I didn't put in effort and I'm just really lost. I wish you could come warn me about certain things in the future cause trying to solve it by myself is tiring me out. And its difficult having parents who thinks that there is only one solution to a problem. Like according to the education system in Singapore, the only way you can earn big bucks is to go to a university and get a decent job but I dont want that path. Is there no alternate path? Like seriously? Even after freaking 50 years of independence (not that it links up) but seriously though? I guess it's just that there is imperfect information going around here but it is known that the arts are not that well embraced in Singapore if I might say. I hope it changes in the years to cause I'm out of options and it feels like there is nothing else I can do. I've hit a roadblock. And I'm trying to find work too but the corporate world seem so scary and foreign to me. They ask to have interviews and I'm scared I can't meet the demands of these people. I'm inexperience and I have no diploma. All I have is my O level cert and that's it. Nothing attractive right? I'm currently just drowning myself with sapping manga and all that. Anyways, seems like my sis is feeling the pressures of marriage. I mean she's not married but people are pushing her to get married? You get me. You always do. I have four cats btw if you don't recall. Mui'za,Reda',Caramel and Kirara. Kirara is abang's though despite him not really taking care of the kitty. That side of him makes me mad. I kinda feel better though there is still heaviness in my heart. Oh and today was the first time I watched Mean Girls. Hahaha! Still have other movies I have to strike off my list. Goodbye for now. C: Stay strong
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